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younglegends) wrote2024-02-02 12:38 pm
younglegends) wrote2024-02-02 12:38 pm
Entry tags:
[journal] i really don't know clouds at all
january
hell of a month... nothing happened.
really put my foot down to finally cook more/at all 🥲 had one really bad week but in my defense i was in shambles.
stars of the month:
- KABOCHA. I love u kabocha. made a kabocha curry + a kabocha soup :D
- frozen suan cai yu package from t&t with napa cabbage and tofu... saurrrr good
- trader joe's aioli garlic mustard kinda saved my life ngl
mad men.
- never knew mad men was about being a black hole. can u believe it.
- it was so funny bc my sister believed she had accidentally read a spoiler for the show and she was soooo upset about it for the longest time and then when we finished it she was like. SO THEY LIED? the fake spoiler was so extreme too (don kills himself) lmfaooooo. anyway she never told me this fake spoiler to protect me but if she had i would've told her there's no way that happens. like, really, what's the point? 7 seasons of him destroying himself until he just commits suicide? now? like don't get me wrong, the whole show is him killing himself in myriad ways, but to do the thing once and for all, to follow in what adam and lane had done, end it all like that, nah. no way. what would even be the point.
- nothing has ever in my life made me burst into the fastest and most unexpected ugly uncontrollable sobbing as s5e11 don taking peggy's hand and pressing a kiss to it. Good god
- it's crazy but i think mad men is now one of my favourite tv shows of all time????? this wasn't supposed to happen??? like i was discussing this with my sister and i think my top five list is:
i always read the most in january.
1. luster by raven leilani
first read of the year and already predicting it to be my favourite. abject loneliness, tenderness cultivated in unbearably mundane and humiliating and unexpected places, walking around like an open wound. anyway i was already enjoying it and then i read the words BATMAN FAN FICTION on the page. "Here, there are some character problems, the exclamation points in Batman's dialogue ultimately less believable than his sexual awe and jealousy, as he is a human man with a complicated belt and Clark is an intergalactic softboi with infinite strength." Perfect book 10/10 no notes.
2. the nickel boys by colson whitehead. If u could see how much my jaw fucking dropped when i was reading this in bed and got to that one specific fucking part like iykyk... competently written & engrossing but i also found it to be very much a novel more about the ideas represented by characters rather than the characters themselves, and wished the central relationship at the heart of this (as it was supposed to be at the heart of this?) felt a little more lived in.
3. the disenchantment by celia bell. kinda shocked i read this because i never read historical fiction (see: how long wolf hall is taking me). i saw this recced by a random artist in the tumblr pentiment tag and there really isn't much overlap although i suppose both deal with the aftermath of certain murders. i enjoyed the writing style and was drawn in by the opening but it really wasn't that gripping overall. mostly i'm disappointed that the central lesbian relationship is the least interesting thing about it. this is also what annoyed me about she who became the sun. strongest parts for me were jeanne, the painter, the use of storytelling, and the ending, but it definitely felt like the pacing in between needed work, as well as victoire's entire character like who da hell even was she.
speaking of pentiment.
act 1 leading into act 2 never had my smile drop from my face so fast. act 2 that one dream sequence i literally burst into tears. act 3... i think i did have mixed feelings on andreas being [redacted] and the shock of [redacted] being [redacted], or maybe something about the way it was executed, but i can't deny that ending is so beautiful and i'm a sucker who was ultimately glad to revisit the character i'd spent all this time living as/with.
andreas is really such an insane character. like in act 2 when you learn that [redacted] and [redacted] died and andreas hasn't replied to any of claus' letters and it's like wtf bro. and andreas can say nothing but his apologies. and then you have the dream sequence and find out LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO HIM, he and claus went through the exactttt same thing and he didn't say a single fucking word about it, and he never does, he never brings it up at all outside of his dreams 😠ahhh what is wrong with you... ahhh it's all unbearable... and the truth of act 3 just makes it all so much worse.
i really like pentiment's take on the murder mystery; that there is no right answer, no single truth to what happened, and you are not the illuminator of this truth, per se; you are the one who makes it so.
it's interesting because a lot of people will bring up pentiment, pathologic, and disco elysium in the same breath. i've played all of them now and i get it. i remember the ending of pentiment, when you walk around town and say goodbye to the people you know, and how it was just like the ending of pathologic 2, when you walk around town and speak for the last time with those who survived. but honestly i'm just in despair that i've played all three of them now and i can't experience them again for the first time. i just want to be playing games like these forever.
i got back into genshin... one of my friends got back into genshin so i logged in like what's all this then and played the xianyun trial and was immediately overcome by how freaking beautiful her skills are. rolled what i had saved and won the 50/50 on her :D how sick is it that i can run a hu tao plunge team now. i love it. i did finally finish the fontaine archon quest and felt rather let down by it... i do need to nab furina on a rerun tho.
two songs, really, for the month of january.
1. DELICIOUS by CHARLI XCX. I was literally walking home from the grocery store the first time i listened to this song and when that interlude/bridge hit and i was like, what the, did i fuck up my phone or something. so disgustingly good. NEVER LET ME GO NEVER LET ME GO NO!!! Honestly pop 2 really is so unparalleled.
2. BOTH SIDES NOW covered by JUDY COLLINS as heard at the end of the mad men s6 finale. So freaking crazy i cannot stop listening to this and tearing up thinking of mad men lmfao. i'm not kidding i literally have not listened to anything else in weeks. Like hey guys did u know that um something's lost but something's gained in living every day.
friends got a kitten. THINKING... THINKING. watch this space.
hell of a month... nothing happened.
*
really put my foot down to finally cook more/at all 🥲 had one really bad week but in my defense i was in shambles.
stars of the month:
- KABOCHA. I love u kabocha. made a kabocha curry + a kabocha soup :D
- frozen suan cai yu package from t&t with napa cabbage and tofu... saurrrr good
- trader joe's aioli garlic mustard kinda saved my life ngl
*
mad men.
- never knew mad men was about being a black hole. can u believe it.
- it was so funny bc my sister believed she had accidentally read a spoiler for the show and she was soooo upset about it for the longest time and then when we finished it she was like. SO THEY LIED? the fake spoiler was so extreme too (don kills himself) lmfaooooo. anyway she never told me this fake spoiler to protect me but if she had i would've told her there's no way that happens. like, really, what's the point? 7 seasons of him destroying himself until he just commits suicide? now? like don't get me wrong, the whole show is him killing himself in myriad ways, but to do the thing once and for all, to follow in what adam and lane had done, end it all like that, nah. no way. what would even be the point.
- nothing has ever in my life made me burst into the fastest and most unexpected ugly uncontrollable sobbing as s5e11 don taking peggy's hand and pressing a kiss to it. Good god
- it's crazy but i think mad men is now one of my favourite tv shows of all time????? this wasn't supposed to happen??? like i was discussing this with my sister and i think my top five list is:
- mr robot. uh yeah forever. it's just like that
- friday night lights. It's crazy bc it's been years and years and i still have not been able to pull off an entire fnl rewatch but like, it's there, everything's there, i still feel it, getting close to it again would be like poking a wound with a stick idk. If u know what i mean.
- mad men (NEW)
- better call saul
- halt and catch fire, tentatively. we are embarking on a rewatch so we can decide if we really do love it that much LOL
*
i always read the most in january.
1. luster by raven leilani
I liked the quiet, the languor of a single hour, of a day when you are deliberate, thankful for what was made deliberately, retina and turnips and densely coiled stars, things so complex I could barely render them in paint.
first read of the year and already predicting it to be my favourite. abject loneliness, tenderness cultivated in unbearably mundane and humiliating and unexpected places, walking around like an open wound. anyway i was already enjoying it and then i read the words BATMAN FAN FICTION on the page. "Here, there are some character problems, the exclamation points in Batman's dialogue ultimately less believable than his sexual awe and jealousy, as he is a human man with a complicated belt and Clark is an intergalactic softboi with infinite strength." Perfect book 10/10 no notes.
2. the nickel boys by colson whitehead. If u could see how much my jaw fucking dropped when i was reading this in bed and got to that one specific fucking part like iykyk... competently written & engrossing but i also found it to be very much a novel more about the ideas represented by characters rather than the characters themselves, and wished the central relationship at the heart of this (as it was supposed to be at the heart of this?) felt a little more lived in.
3. the disenchantment by celia bell. kinda shocked i read this because i never read historical fiction (see: how long wolf hall is taking me). i saw this recced by a random artist in the tumblr pentiment tag and there really isn't much overlap although i suppose both deal with the aftermath of certain murders. i enjoyed the writing style and was drawn in by the opening but it really wasn't that gripping overall. mostly i'm disappointed that the central lesbian relationship is the least interesting thing about it. this is also what annoyed me about she who became the sun. strongest parts for me were jeanne, the painter, the use of storytelling, and the ending, but it definitely felt like the pacing in between needed work, as well as victoire's entire character like who da hell even was she.
*
speaking of pentiment.
act 1 leading into act 2 never had my smile drop from my face so fast. act 2 that one dream sequence i literally burst into tears. act 3... i think i did have mixed feelings on andreas being [redacted] and the shock of [redacted] being [redacted], or maybe something about the way it was executed, but i can't deny that ending is so beautiful and i'm a sucker who was ultimately glad to revisit the character i'd spent all this time living as/with.
andreas is really such an insane character. like in act 2 when you learn that [redacted] and [redacted] died and andreas hasn't replied to any of claus' letters and it's like wtf bro. and andreas can say nothing but his apologies. and then you have the dream sequence and find out LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO HIM, he and claus went through the exactttt same thing and he didn't say a single fucking word about it, and he never does, he never brings it up at all outside of his dreams 😠ahhh what is wrong with you... ahhh it's all unbearable... and the truth of act 3 just makes it all so much worse.
i really like pentiment's take on the murder mystery; that there is no right answer, no single truth to what happened, and you are not the illuminator of this truth, per se; you are the one who makes it so.
it's interesting because a lot of people will bring up pentiment, pathologic, and disco elysium in the same breath. i've played all of them now and i get it. i remember the ending of pentiment, when you walk around town and say goodbye to the people you know, and how it was just like the ending of pathologic 2, when you walk around town and speak for the last time with those who survived. but honestly i'm just in despair that i've played all three of them now and i can't experience them again for the first time. i just want to be playing games like these forever.
*
i got back into genshin... one of my friends got back into genshin so i logged in like what's all this then and played the xianyun trial and was immediately overcome by how freaking beautiful her skills are. rolled what i had saved and won the 50/50 on her :D how sick is it that i can run a hu tao plunge team now. i love it. i did finally finish the fontaine archon quest and felt rather let down by it... i do need to nab furina on a rerun tho.
*
1. DELICIOUS by CHARLI XCX. I was literally walking home from the grocery store the first time i listened to this song and when that interlude/bridge hit and i was like, what the, did i fuck up my phone or something. so disgustingly good. NEVER LET ME GO NEVER LET ME GO NO!!! Honestly pop 2 really is so unparalleled.
2. BOTH SIDES NOW covered by JUDY COLLINS as heard at the end of the mad men s6 finale. So freaking crazy i cannot stop listening to this and tearing up thinking of mad men lmfao. i'm not kidding i literally have not listened to anything else in weeks. Like hey guys did u know that um something's lost but something's gained in living every day.
*
friends got a kitten. THINKING... THINKING. watch this space.
no subject
no subject
as for the characters... idk if you've completed the aq btw?? spoilers? but i didn't really care for the two characters who felt pushed as most narratively important: neuvillette and furina. neuvillette bc he's just boring as hell like i'm sorry he WISHES he were on zhongli's level! and furina... ironically i actually was really interested in furina at the beginning of the aq and liked her (unlike most ppl i think??) precisely because of her annoyingness and over-the-top melodrama and general intrigue. and the horror of the twist/reveal was meant to make you feel for her, of course, but ended up flattening anything interesting about her character imo. suffering for a million years doesn't inherently make you interesting! i felt like in the process to make furina so pitiably "human" they forgot to give her any personality at all! and i get that that's partly the point--obviously she never had the chance to forge her own identity bc she spent all this time having to pretend to be the archon--but like. ok so ur a blank slate creation with no motivations or character of ur own besides an innate generic desire to play the role you've been given and do good for humanity at the cost of sacrificing your entire self... and after all these years you didn't develop a single thought or question or character trait in response to anything... ok
idk i liked some overarching themes they were trying to get at, justice humanity spectacle ppl saving themselves vs being saved by gods etc. just don't know if they effectively came together for me. i do think the first chapters are more interesting than the later ones, and enjoyed most of the other characters--wriothesley & clorinde was a delightful duo! i also liked the sense of real stakes and loss i.e. navia's henchmen dying for real. arlecchino was hot even if she didn't really get that much to do. focalors slayed like i love a dramatic mastermind orchestrating her own death as the showstopping finale to a show performing over thousands of years. call that... EXECUTION... also ngl i am very much a prophecy enjoyer like... sick prophecy portending doom, bro...
oh yeah i just remembered... wtf happened to childe ðŸ˜