younglegends | 2021 year in review

2021 huh! idek what to say. let's just get into it

MOVIES: ok i just counted and ive seen like 71 movies this year lol?! anyway here's my top five:

1. SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE (2005): watched with v (sooo many movies watched with v this year <3) and for once it was a movie neither of us had seen before and quite simply we were not prepared for the Excellence. a literally perfect movie To Me on every level like what else even is there to say.

2. MICROHABITAT (2017): i first watched this in january and then i kept finding myself thinking about it for months afterward so i rewatched it again in may... a deeply special movie that is dear to my heart.

3. KAJILLIONAIRE (2020): i watched this at my sister's recommendation with her telling me nothing about it and like halfway through the movie at a certain diner scene i had to stop just to tweet "movies are so insane wtf". But really movies are so insane wtf!!!! if you watched KAJILLIONAIRE (2020) then you'd understand!!! anyway i HAD to pass on the experience so i watched it again with v telling her nothing about it and she too was like omg wtf insane. anyway love is real u guys <3

4. HOUSE OF HUMMINGBIRD (2018): the experience of watching this movie was honestly quite unbearable but that's coming of age films for u. the tenderness and weight given to every single fleeting moment, and to first times especially--first experiences, first loves, first heartbreaks, first betrayals, first times confronting the incomprehensible: grief and loss and the mundanity of it all and helpless coincidence and being wronged and wronging others and the complexity of the lives of the ppl you know only as your family and friends and all, everything that defies understanding. the world opening up in that quiet, relentless way.

5. TRIANGLE (2009): and now for something completely different lmfao... how about a HORROR MOVIE?! i can't say shit about this movie without spoiling everything about it but like. Um. It's just incredibly relevant to my interests and i was obsessed.

+ HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

the experience of watching all four hours of ZACK SNYDER'S JUSTICE LEAGUE (2021) with v and then afterward dissecting riveting topics such as the sad state of superhero movies that create coworker teamups without emotional connections, batman being fucked up psychologically, batman being gay etc
SAINT MAUD (2019) which actually freaked me out so bad i couldn't sleep afterward >__< just viscerally upsetting and also so so sad.
DUNE (2021) for the cinematic experience
the ten seconds of **** ******* in SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021)
the entire summer of horror movies with t <3 EVEN IF THEY ALL SUCKED!!!

TELEVISION:

man tv show of the year has gotta be SUCCESSION, what else... this year i rewatched s1+2 with my sister (incredibly fun to rewatch this show with someone who's watching it for the first time btw!) and then we watched s3 together and what an experience that was, i gotta say. the whole thing just has tremendous payoff seriously what a time to be watching TELEVISION

CLICK FOR S3 SPOILERS >>

i think esp the fact that we weren't watching it every week and so we watched the final 3 episodes basically back-to-back caused me intense psychic damages. Like. the awful fucking trainwreck that was the birthday ep (i still cant stop thinking abt kendall telling roman You're not real and roman immediately going fuck-it-all insane) followed by the nonstop blows in chiantishire (shiv and caroline conversation mirrored by kendall and logan conversation, shiv IMMEDIATELY taking it out on tom and fucking saying I DON'T LOVE YOU out loud for the first time... my fucking jaw DROPPEDDDD) and then the utter rollercoaster of the FINALE.... YEAH... WHAT ELSE IS THERE EVEN TO SAY... kendall confessing to it all and roman immediately defusing the tension as only he can in his own way!!! kendall coming alive again to unite with his siblings against their dad! kendall and shiv telling roman you can't trust logan IN FRONT OF HIM!! the fact that roman stayed true despite his fucking palpable terror... and the fact that tom's betrayal was built up the wholeee fucking season and still it was such a shock (i mean not to me because i was spoiled bc that's what happens when you don't watch shit as it comes out sadly). Also caroline what the f i still haven't gotten over that one ep seasons ago when kendall was like hey i'm not doing so great i want to talk and she was like ok let's talk in the morning :) AND THEN SHE LEFT. Like aslksdhglsghkshgslsgh ok anyway. wow. television!

+ HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

GO AHEAD, the cdrama that possessed me early this year <3 didn't know a cdrama was still capable of doing that to me but thanks for being chemically engineered in a test tube just for me specifically! also literally the only media that was able to get me to write this year congratulations i owe u my life
literally watching episodes of THE GREAT CANADIAN BAKING SHOW at 6am every morning as i got ready for work was so healing <3
i was really excited for sex education s3 but it kinda disappointed me... probably my expectations were just too high. but i rewatched the first two seasons this year too which was great!
arcane was so beautifully animated and it was hilarious to relive some league of legends nostalgia in this year of 2021 (yes i reinstalled the game briefly this spring... what's that got to do with anything) but honestly the art style kept making me think of DISHONORED... ah... sorry i am the me that i am

VIDEO GAMES:

look guys i know genshin possessed me and all but come on. top game of the year can't go anywhere else but DISCO ELYSIUM, a game i feel incredibly grateful and lucky to have experienced lol... and to be able to continue to experience... breathtaking in every way and idek how to describe it to do it any justice at all. you just gotta play it. it's beautiful.

+ HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

TLOU2 replay with t this summer broke all of my bones and then healed me again <3 most perfect game of the world. oh and speaking of i started a TLOU replay with my sis who's experiencing it for the first time!!! honestly kinda trying to speedrun it so she can get to TLOU2 asap <3
i did also enjoy CONTROL a lot! even though i have some quibbles about the story and (lack of) characterization/development, the gameplay was great. it was so much fun and so creepy exploring the bureau, the ashtray maze was one of the most delightful video game sequences i've ever played through, and that one ending-credit fakeout actually got me good i was like what the fuck?!
i'll mention IT TAKES TWO just for the experience of playing it with my sis... we were like 6 hours into the game still trying to press on like "we're almost done right? we're almost finished the game right?" spoiler alert: we were not almost done. the fact that they made this game and devoted SO MUCH to it is honestly astonishing in every detail and puzzle and setting and game mechanic, it was so impressive, but the story did kind of suck sorry WHY DID THEY GET BACK TOGETHER OMFG?! anyway
finally ok yes i log onto GENSHIN IMPACT every day and do my silly little tasks and build my silly little characters and have a good time <3 finally got and built yanfei whom i love dearly :3 and i'm currently building my c4 kujou sara to support my final-ascended keqing even if it means having to go back to the momiji-dyed court. my first built bow user... start of a new era... and speaking of electro bow users who's ready for FISCHL IN THE SHOP NEXT MONTH? <3 i AM kind of devastated that xiao and zhongli are rerunning back to back because i'm not gonna be able to get both (probably) but i've made my peace ig... zhongli im coming for u!!

BOOKS: i read 43 books this year! that's way more than in previous years and i'm really happy about it, and i really enjoyed a lot of them, too, or at least found them interesting. here's my top five:

1. B, BOOK AND ME, kim sagwa: yeah the less than 200-pg book wins it all from me this year. after i read it i literally couldn't stop thinking about it. as i've said before most iconic opening line ever ("We lived on the coast."). i actually first saw MINA in the public library and thought it looked interesting but couldn't borrow it because... i realized i had like $25 in library fines... so i took note of the author's name and that's how i ended up eventually reading this one. it seriously reads like a fever dream of a book, i loved the frankness of the narration and how it gets so many things spot on, and it is a deeply sad and devastating story, but there was so much feeling. and i just can't stop thinking about it.

2. BUNNY, mona awad: i thought this was an insanely fun read and also wrenchingly gutting like yeah um literally who hasn't been there? hello? like i've said before: the kind of story that touches on something so intensely personal i'm literally not interested in anything anyone else has to say about it <3

3. LONELY CASTLE IN THE MIRROR, mizuki tsujimura: so lovely and forgiving and hopeful of a book i kinda can't think about it without tearing up

4. BESTIARY, k-ming chang: the shit k-ming chang does with form and style and structure and *waves hands desperately* ART... god just what a good book that i'm glad exists in this world!

5. CONVERSATIONS WITH FRIENDS, sally rooney: i think a lot of books don't really convince me until the end, and then (assuming they've pulled it off) i give the shape of the whole thing 5 stars without question even if i didn't necessarily enjoy all of the way there. bunny was kind of like that, and this is definitely one of them too. i feel like i enjoyed more of normal people than conversations with friends but this is the one that sticks with me. in a way i can't BELIEVE this got me so bad by the end considering i was ? about it for most of the way through. but it really did and i'm glad for it

+ HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

MARILOU IS EVERYWHERE, sarah elaine smith: just the most beautiful prose i have ever read in my entire life and will ever read, full stop. i'm not necessarily as convinced by the story and the choices made in its telling but straight-up i would die for this prose
SOUR HEART, jenny zhang: all short story collections are ultimately hit-or-miss to me, but when she gets it she fucking gets it.
THE ONLY GOOD INDIANS, stephen graham jones: literally suchhhh good and satisfying horror payoff and also can u believe LOVE is GRIEF is LOSS... guys?! can u believe that?! anyway i am also currently reading MY HEART IS A CHAINSAW but it's extremely doubtful i'll finish it by the end of the year lol.
NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS, patricia lockwood: the second half of this book is seriously so fucking moving i'm upset just remembering it

WRITING:

lol this year i wrote so little *pensive emoji* which isn't to say i wasn't writing at all or anything but compared to previous years in a row of 100k+ output it's just like. damn wtf happened. honestly it had a lot to do with falling out of kpop fandom in general... i really feel like this is the end of the line for me i just don't really care anymore idk. i'll probably just archive my old kpop wips on dw sometime. i also didn't really get possessed by any media except one (1) cdrama at the beginning of the year so like. what was i supposed to do. i ALSO didn't sign up for yuletide for the first time since, like, 2017... just didn't have it in me i guess!!

TOTAL WORD COUNT (COMPLETE): 14,555

TOTAL WORD COUNT (INCL. WIPS): 38,670+

TOP TAGS OF THE YEAR: well the only overlap is Non-Linear Narrative so that tracks! we get it writing in non-linear time is sooo easy for u

FICS COMPLETED AND PUBLISHED: 2

1. PERHAPS YOU ARE THE SAME: go ahead, gen, 10.8k.

She stares blankly back at him. For a moment she considers it: sitting down next to him and playing mother. But she’s too exhausted to cook. Maybe she can share his instant noodles. They can just eat from the same bowl until they’re both left hungry. Son, this is what it means to be a family. Do you understand?

whew boy. i really just wrote this to get out all my #feelings for this cdrama and it succeeded in what i wanted it to do for me, in that aspect. anyway how funny is it that when i was writing this i was like "eh i don't wanna include a chen ting pov bc idc about her" and then i wrote a chen ting pov and it was The easiest thing to write ever... yeah we get it.

2. LET ME TELL YOU, loona, heejin/hyunjin, near-apocalyptic sci-fi au, 3.7k. written for ficmix.

Her throat hurts; her neck is stiff. That gnawing feeling, she recognizes, is hunger. All these aches and pains she’s been trying to train away, pumping her body faster and stronger in order to leave it behind. The medical exam that had cleared her fit enough to die. She lets herself feel them now. She has the time.

i remember being so shocked when i finished writing this a whole month before ficmix deadline... who WAS i. when i was brainstorming ideas i was initially tempted to go with a typical (of me) time travel concept involving jinsol as she floated through space, delving into her and sooyoung's past, but 1) the original fic treads that ground so well already and 2) i wanted to challenge myself to like. NOT write the first easy thing that comes to mind for once... so i ended up writing something that excluded her completely LMFAO or to be more thematically accurate. one that orbits her absence completely <3

the task of trying to write hyunjin's reaction to the ending events of the original fic felt very compelling to me. that kind of mindset--preparing oneself for death, the entire arc of not exactly regret but over time realizing how much you don't actually want to die, but you have to, and then being saved anyway, in a way being granted your greatest wish by having your worst fear come true: living by the hand of someone you love sacrificing themselves for you rather than the other way around. and that others knew about it, that while you were running your silly gauntlet of unbearable emotion and contending with the face of your own death and believing yourself to be making a difference, really it was never going to come down to you at all. what a relief. what an awful thing.

spent a long time combing over original writer's fic notes to try and make the details as accurate as possible... don't know if i pulled it off well but i really enjoyed the assignment <3

CURRENT WIPS: 2

1. ALL OUR HEROES: POWER RANGERS (2017) WIP, ~15.4k.

Jason dug his coin out of his pocket and weighed it in his palm. This was what had given them their powers, their purpose; this was what had given Billy back. He ran his thumb over the shining edge of it, encased in rock. It still glowed in his hand, though it felt a little cold. He didn’t worry about it. Probably it was just that nothing would ever again compare to the heat of being beaten down into the earth and forging himself into something new out of the fire; something more. Probably this was just how everything was always going to feel from now on.

Was that the cost?

sorry i gotta talk about this even though i've talked SO MUCH about this already in the past... i reread it recently with the intention of archiving it on dw as incomplete forever only to be gotten by my past self again ARGH. Help i'm being haunted... that's just what writing is... but anyway. maybe i WILL continue to drag this dead weight forward because it meant something to me! also i was literally sooooo close to the end like i worked so hard on it (literally the most difficult fic i've ever written, personally) and wrote all those sections i thought were impossible for me to write and now i'm just gonna tap out on the LAST SCENE?! ugh. also never forget that watching this dumb little movie in theatres in 2017 was what jumpstarted sooo much of my writing brain at the time... and im grateful to it for having possessed me... even if they never gave me the promised sequel smh

me writing a group of people drifting apart: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
me writing them coming back together: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

anyway fic that i started in *checks gdoc* january 2020 we are MANIFESTING? a 2022 publication date?? please?

2. NAMELESS WIP: GENSHIN IMPACT, ~24.1k.

These days, Xingqiu’s time was carefully parcelled out. He divided it among his classes, his involvement in various clubs and extracurriculars on campus, and his internship at the Feiyun Commerce Guild. Time management was a skill he had honed as finely as his blade, after years of necessity demanded it from him, and it included without question the pockets of time in which he quietly slipped away from notice, accountable to no one but himself. Whether disappearing into the Wanwen Bookhouse or taking a stroll in the city or suiting up as Raincutter, these moments of solitude were vital commitments just the same, and he prided himself on keeping them. Even his freedom ran upon a reliable track he kept tightly held in the grasp of his fist.

He hadn’t written in a while.

very funny to me that i was so anguished about having nothing to write that i forced myself to start a genshin fic that has negative canon basis and is once again an au of an au and is based only on fun vibes that i enjoy and then i've ended up writing over 20k of it and i've only just begun and i might fuck around and never publish it either LOL

i cannot overstate how much my inspiration for this was basically just the equivalent of spinning a wheel of characters and deciding to string them together for no reason. my thought process was literally "ok who do i like in genshin? the liyue kids, the mondstadt kids, and mona. ok let's go from there." so yeah i'm just vibing. also i have a track record of starting really long and convoluted superhero au wips (this is literally my third: i had one for haikyuu!! way back when i read it in 2015 and one for loona and they were both over 10k words when i quit them LOL) but if u think about it that's kinda what genshin already is, minus the secret identities, but secret identities are literally the most fun thing about superhero narratives so i just added that part in. i did also make it modern au i'm sorry i'm the me that i am. i also literally haven't decided if i'm making this gen or not and i'm kind of just writing everyone like they're in unrequited love with each other. i'm having so much fun!!

anyway does anyone else in this world think that YANFEI/MONA is neat? they're nerds your honour